Batman Forever

Tim Burton's Batman films were meant, in part, to steer the conversation around Batman away from the campy 1960s TV series. Joel Schumacher's Batman Forever is clearly building off of the Tim Burton template, while also steering the conversation back towards the TV series by making everything quippier and slightly less violent. Unlike in the previous films, Val Kilmer's Batman doesn't directly kill anyone. He's not out there blowing up factories or strapping bombs to clowns, but he definitely causes some explosive car crashes and tricks Two Face into falling to his death. Chris O'Donnell's Robin wants to kill Two Face to get revenge for the death of his family, but he also manages to drop the groaner of a line, "Holy rusted metal Batman." Tommy Lee Jones's Two Face is a bit too Joker-y for me, equal parts Jack Nicholson and Cesar Romero. Jim Carrey's Riddler is peak unhinged 90s Jim Carrey. Though I did appreciate that he's essentially a prototypical tech bro. Nicole Kidman doesn't get much to do in the film, alternating between throwing herself at Batman and playing hard to get with Bruce Wayne. Joel Schumacher's sensibilities really shine through in the color palette, whenever possible the shadows are broken up with garish neon. There's a little bit of CGI in the film, which has aged poorly. And the less said about nipples on the bat suit, the better.

Rating: 60%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Image of the Fendahl

A group of scientists, working in secret, think they may have made a discovery that will forever rewrite man's understanding of evolution. Instead, they have uncovered something that will threaten all life on Earth. Image of the Fendahl isn't the most original story. It feels like it's borrowing from serials like The Dæmons, The Seeds of Doom and The Masque of Mandragora, among others. And yet, it's a really fun story. My favorite of this season, so far. The tone, the setting and the characters are all on point. The plot is a little scattershot, but it doesn't really matter. The monsters are a little dodgy looking too, imagine a snake with dreadlocks, but they're still leaps and bounds better looking than the monster from The Invisible Enemy.

Rating: Good morning, ladies%

Hard Target

Chance Boudreaux, a down on his luck merchant seaman, is hired by Natasha Binder to find her missing father. Together, they uncover a ruthless organization that's been hunting homeless veterans on the streets of New Orleans. Hard Target is John Woo's first (and possibly best) American film. And you'll know it's a John Woo film because of the doves and the fact that the entire third act of the movie is one big chase/shootout. Jean-Claude Van Damme is in peak physical form in the film, delivering countless kicks. His acting is a little stilted, but thankfully Lance Henriksen and Wilford Brimley are there giving deliciously over the top performances. Also, if you've ever wanted to see JCVD bite the rattle off a snake, this is the movie for you.

Rating: 73%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Ski Patrol

A greedy real estate developer hatches a scheme to steal a profitable ski lodge away from Pops and his beloved, but wacky, Ski Patrol. Ski Patrol and its much hornier counterpart Ski School come from the mysterious era at the beginning of the 1990s, when the 1980s hadn't quite died yet. It's neon and big hair as far as the eye can see. What sets Ski Patrol apart from similar films is the cast. The movie features performances from Martin Mull, Ray Walston, Paul Feig, T.K. Carter, and George Lopez, among others. Made by some of the folks behind the Police Academy series, Ski Patrol is packed with gags and hijinks. The sitcom-y score is aggressive at times, desperately underlining some of the jokes with bass riffs and saxophone squeals. And like so many films from its time, the "ethnic" humor now sticks out like a sore thumb.

Rating: 68%

(Image from IMDB)

Fun Fact: Ski Patrol features not one, but two Friday the 13th alumni. Roger Rose was in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives and Leslie Jordan was in Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday.