In my day we didn't need $350 cell phones to not pay attention in class, we just took drugs. And why the fuck are young women out in pyjamas at 3:00 in the afternoon? If you had time to put on makeup, you had time to put on pants.RATING: Hell in a hand basket%
(Image from bloguemacabre.blogspot.com.)
There's so much more that should have been covered in a review about Kids These Days.
ReplyDeleteUh-oh. Is Internet John back in the classroom?
ReplyDeletePS - Awesome picture
ReplyDelete@ Timmaaay!!!
ReplyDeletePolonius said "brevity is the soul of wit." But I guess Kids These Days are fucking now too. I read that in some "poem" about a slide that Glenn posted one time.
@ Viking Andrew
ReplyDeleteKrampus is Santa's evil twin. He's gonna find out who's naughty and nice.
OK so the link is actually to a picture of Père Fouettard, not Krampus, but it's six of one and half-a-dozen of the other. Same archetype, so to speak.
ReplyDeleteMany of the young ladies at my institution of higher learning seem to enjoy wearing black tights in lieu of pants, but I say tights are not and never will be pants no matter how many times Lindsay Lohan wears them in public.
ReplyDeleteEveryone knows women can't learn.
ReplyDeleteTrue, tights aren't pants. But (some) girls' behinds look nice in them
ReplyDeleteMy ass looks fantastic in tights, but I reserve them for yoga class where they belong.
ReplyDeleteShut up, John.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the girls at a particular institution of higher learning in Dallas where I once taught wore the tights-without-shorts thing: black tights, a sorority t-shirt and Sperry's. What you're witnessing, Laurie, is the complicated "I'm-dressing-down-but-dressing-up" mentality of future Connecticuters.
ReplyDeleteJust picture them at forty: still wearing the tights, behind the wheel of their Porsche Cayenne with a pink iPhone to their ear and Kidd Kraddick on the radio, just left Balley's total fitness and are on their way to pick up little Chadwick from his preschool development class.
So what do you say if somebody uses the Polonius (more like Po-Lazy-Ass) quote when they turn in one paragraph of a 10 page assignment?
ReplyDeleteNow you're just being silly.
ReplyDeleteI'd sexually harass them, of course.
Gross.
ReplyDeleteSays the guy with purple man boobs and a skeleton face. You could at least get a whitening kit on that motherfucker.
ReplyDelete@ Viking Andrew
ReplyDeleteI think you''re coming down with a slight yet serious case of acute adjectivitis.
@ Timmaaay!!!
Can you fight?
@I.J.,
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with adjectives, Papa?
What's wrong with the gypsy moth? Nothing, if you're a gypsy moth. Plenty, if you're an oak tree. Or a gypsy.
ReplyDeleteUmmm... You want to fight over whether or not sexually harassing students is gross? :|
ReplyDeleteI never said that. Why, do you?
ReplyDeleteAlso, are (not) Laurie and (not) Viking Andrew actually not Laurie and Viking Andrew? Because they're not me. I think they're Laurie.
ReplyDelete(not) Viking Andrew is not Internet John, nor not not Viking Andrew.
ReplyDeleteAh.
ReplyDeleteWho knows about (not) Laurie. McTavish?
ReplyDeleteDon't say that name! The motherfucker's like Beetlejuice.
ReplyDeleteI had to delete my Facebook update because of you. You're back in the U.S. now. There are rules here, Smoky.
ReplyDeleteIndeed. I often wonder how a country with so many social rules and taboos can be so full of people with no manners whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, 1) what rules are you talking about; and 2) why do you feel the R3 comments section is an appropriate venue for discussion of them?
Never mind. If we have a fight in public people might find out about us.
ReplyDelete"I often wonder how a country with so many social rules and taboos can be so full of people with no manners whatsoever."
ReplyDeleteI think William Carlos Williams addresses this in his essay, "Voyage of the Mayflower":
"The first to come as a group, of a desire sprung within themselves,
they were the first American democracy--and it was they, in the end, who would succeed in making everything like themselves."
So, you see? We're assholes (but never touch our own assholes.
Those shoes are fucking ugly.
ReplyDeleteYou mean the Sperry's? Yes, they are. They remind me of (sorry, Laurie) lawyers with bad hair who don't know how to dress casually.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of, when I worked at Brooks Brothers, I once sold a pair of pleated jeans to a man who told me he had never worn jeans before but had to for a company picnic. True story!
I cringe every time I see pleated dress pants on a man who isn't jumping out of a plane, which is all the time.
ReplyDelete@ Timmaaay!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you know that I'm just pulling your leg. Your usual role of "straight man" is much appreciated here at R3. However, you've been a little hard on my poor little frivolous post, and I find it difficult to tell when you're being serious and when you're joking. It's the skull face, I imagine.
Also, I am interested to know if you can fight. Glenn has some moves (the "chin buster" and the "gut punch," if memory serves) but Loll and VA are a couple of puss-ginas, and someone's gonna have to throw down when the proverbial Turks are at the R3 gate.
Ha ha, I remember the "Chin Buster." I liked that I actually named my "moves," as though I ever got in fights with anybody other than friends back in elementary school. I don't remember the "gut punch," although I can probably put two and two together to figure out what it was.
ReplyDelete