Listen, Banjo Guy, we both know you didn't bring that banjo to the bar to regale us with banjo songs, because you haven't played it once all night. I'd also bet a prize pig and three jugs of moonshine that you're not going to a banjo band practice later on, since it's one o'clock in the morning. Now I don't particularly hate bluegrass music, but I do particularly hate other straight males under 30 who think they're cute, and the temptation to wrest that hillbilly hipster fashion accessory from your little white stick arms and use it to give you the beating and/or strangling of a lifetime is hard to resist. On the upside, you'll probably look cooler with a neck brace than you do with a fucking banjo, and the little girls will be falling all over themselves to sign your multiple casts.RATING: HEAVY METAL%
(Image from crabapplenyc.wordpress.com.)
Is this real? A guy went to a bar with a banjo?
ReplyDeleteHe's there all the fucking time. Doesn't play it. Doesn't put it in a case. As far as I can tell, it's a conversation piece.
ReplyDeletei think banjos are cute :3
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, it would be fucking awesome if he actually played the banjo. A guy who plays banjo is already halfway into my pants.
ReplyDeleteI play the banjo...
ReplyDelete*Insert obvious Lake City, Florida joke here*
ReplyDeleteYeah, there's nothing like a hipster who plays banjo. Hot.
ReplyDeleteAre you calling Andrew a hipster?
ReplyDeleteNo, just your imaginary banjo boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteAndrew plays the banjo without a hint of irony.
I think what you're not getting here, Chris, is that I can't stand hipsters, but I love banjo. And I say that without a hint of irony. You forget that while I'm a big city girl now, I come from good ole American hillbilly stock.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you would love banjo.
ReplyDeleteI don't own a banjo. I couldn't even play the recorder in 3rd grade music class.
ReplyDeleteHey, you know who does play the banjo? Steve Martin. Texas' own Steve Martin.
Admit it, Laurie. You've had sex with Banjo Guy. And you love hipsters.
ReplyDeleteIf Banjo Guy insists on bringing his banjo to a bar, you would think he could at least play a song or two. I mean, isn't that just common fucking courtesy?
ReplyDeleteLaurie wants ti fuck banjo uygt
ReplyDeleteIs that Estonian?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I really think that anyone carrying a banjo around is obliged to at least attempt to play a little tune.
ReplyDelete@Chris: And what the hell is that supposed to mean?
@IJ: No I didn't and no I don't.
What do you think it means? Don't be coy.
ReplyDeleteHuh. Well I'll just assume you say that cos I'm awesome.
ReplyDelete