If you have a large and diverse music collection, you may have noticed that using the iTunes party shuffle can be less than fulfilling. It's just not fun to hear say, Lil Wayne followed by Sufjan Stevens followed by one of the random reggae songs your ex boyfriend who is Jamaican left on your computer. If this sounds like you (and feel free to sub in one of your own ex's crappy music selections), you might want to stop ignoring that swirly little button down there in the corner of your iTunes window and finally check out the iTunes Genius feature. After scanning your entire music collection (this can take a while if you have a lot of music...I just set mine in motion and left it while I went out to run errands), the Genius will build playlists for you based a song of your choice. For example, my first playlist was based on the song All That I Need by Blind Melon. I clicked the song and then hit the Genius button. Then iTunes made a playlist that included stuff like Pearl Jam, the Smashing Pumpkins, Wilco, My Morning Jacket, Neutral Milk Hotel, The White Stripes, etc., etc. Then I tried one based on Beast of Burden and it generated a nice old skool Americana type playlist that had Neil Young, Bowie, Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, Tom Petty, etc. The interwebs tells me that there are some problem with it (for example, it doesn't work with Beatles songs or other bands that aren't in the iTunes store), but I'm still pretty damn pleased with it, and think you might be too.Rating: 81%
I never really listen to music through iTunes though. Too bad Genius can't go on my ipod, then I might actually use it.
ReplyDeleteYou could make the playlists in iTunes and then put them on your ipod.
ReplyDeleteI just tried it on my collection of Gregorian chants. It worked great. For some reason I thought it wouldn’t work on sacred music but it did. I used
ReplyDeleteDies Irae as the base, and while I was at evening prayers iTunes Genius built a complete playlist. Mother Superior was impressed. Chalked a few points for that.
@ Sister Mary Francis
ReplyDeleteWow, Dies Irae is my favorite Gregorian chant. Nixie and I like it as background music during foreplay. Of course for my finale I need something with more zip. Rossini’s William Tell Overture William Tell Overture always works nicely for me. It triggers a healthy squirt.
Wolfgang
@ Sister Mary Francis
ReplyDeleteI won't tell Nixie this, but I'm starting to get the hots for you.
Shame on me! Haha.
Wolfgang
My iPod Touch and Phür's iPod Nano have the Genius feature on them. I, for one, love it. I've had no problems with my Beatles songs. I've learned that if I pick a Beatles song, it's going to make a list mostly consisting of the Beatles as solo artists. It's become one of my favorite features on my iPod.
ReplyDeletehumor garnered from religious juxtaposition
ReplyDeletecomedic frank sexual discourse
Since I only have one iTunes song, the Genius feature is more effort than its worth. Although I am amazed by the concept.
ReplyDeletesome people are poor
ReplyDeleteWhen I visited my friends, my iPod was accidentally deep fried. So I don’t know if it had the Genius feature or not. But that’s OK.
ReplyDeletedisplays rudimentary knowledge of satire
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've heard iTunes Genius is wonderful and eerily accurate, but have always been reluctant to try it out. I'm slow to the game, as they say. Last week, though, a local farmer told me it was the real-deal, and since I ate his soul and made sock puppets out of his skin, I'm thinking of trying it out.
ReplyDeletepassing reference to violence portrayed against backdrop of consumerism
ReplyDeleteOoh, I like it! I was avoiding using it because I thought it would be as lame as that "DJ" feature. But it is pretty genius.
ReplyDeleteBarren self-reference of name "R3FP" indicates an academic's or intellectual's characteristic lack of imagination. Rage masquerading as jocularity suggests postmodern sensibility + emotional damage.
ReplyDeleteR3FP, you're a bloodless, hating ghost. A starving worm with its mouth sewn to its own anus. A parasitical killjoy.
The difference between a groan-inducing "schtick" like Bertha and your own reflexive meanness is the love that makes someone want to make his or her friends laugh, and which dares to risk the possibility that they won't.
The best homunculi are nursed to life on our own blood, not other people's. You're a shameless, howling curse, and I feel sorry for you and your owner.
sexual frustration
ReplyDeleteJohn: Why on earth are you getting so worked up about R3FP? I think it's funny.
ReplyDelete@ (not) R3FP
ReplyDeleteOnly your mom knows for sure.
@ Laurie
It's not funny, it's mean. And it's making fun of my friends and offering nothing in return--no jokes, no moral gravity, nothing. I'm not worked up, I just know the stink of evil intent when I see it.
How is it any meaner than any of our other comments? And it is the joke. I really don't see what the big deal is or get why you're taking it so personally. I'm going to call you later and you can explain why it pisses you off so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm with John here (though John has a much more interesting way of voicing his feelings than I do). I don't like it much either, just because it doesn't really add anything to the discussion. Quite the opposite, actually. It's like interrupting a conversation by walking up next to the people talking, farting loudly, and then just walking away.
ReplyDeleteI don't wish to give offense to the creative mind behind FR3P. I understand the intended humor, but it doesn't do much for me either. This mean-spirited business has made me quite blasé; it's getting a little old, but it's usually easy to ignore it. It's also usually easy to tell the difference between pure meanness and friendly ribbing. Sometimes, that line is crossed, though.
Ah well. To each his/her own, I suppose. Who am I to preach?
Well said, Timmaaay!!!
ReplyDeleteSide note: Is there any blog or group of semi-anonymous people who spend as much time deconstructing and debating what is humorous and what is not?
I'm not complaining; it's interesting to me. I'm just asking.
dude you guys are one fucked up crazy group of people. I like you.
ReplyDeletethat fake person is stupid. I dunno anything he says.
this one is review is almost as fun as noodling.
fuck in need a beer. that sounded like a girl
demonstrates classism, regionalism
ReplyDelete(that one's funny)
well you can suck my regional dick. its a nice fat 7 inches.
ReplyDeletei=d shove your hed on it while i guxz ed a beer bitch
Seven inches! Where are you at? I'd travel for that.
ReplyDeleteMe too!
ReplyDeleteand me
ReplyDeleteBarf.
ReplyDelete@ FR3P
ReplyDeleteSay something to Tyler. He's disgusting.
displays rudimentary knowledge of satire x5
ReplyDeleteWait, I just want to make sure I understand this. Bertha is original and hilarious, but FR3P's posts simply, in many cases, accurately labeling what some of the R3 sock puppet commenters are doing is offensive?
ReplyDeleteWar is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength. Got it!
Addendum: 1984 quote included just for its oppositeness, not because I think anyone here is a totalitarian, etc. Just to head off misunderstandings...
ReplyDelete@ Shoppista
ReplyDeleteYou're a women, so you'll never completely understand R3. But thanks for trying.
mastered the art of sarcasm
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to be angry about that woman quote, but I love the way it's tempered by the FR3P's indication that it is intended as sarcasm. Why doesn't anyone else appreciate the brilliance of this?
ReplyDeleteLaurie, because FR3P isn't trying to add to the fun, he/she (but, really she, i'm almost sure of it...although I am secretly hoping it is BNL) is condescending and is letting all the helium out of the party balloons.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you think it is brilliant?
I guess I just think most things in life are overwrought and it's funny when you break them down to their parts and look at what they really are. Like pulling back the curtain on the wizard of oz. And it's even funnier to see how worked up everyone gets over it. Like, HOW DARE YOU CALL ME CLASSIST!!! I'M A LIBERALL!!! Yeah, who cares. We know you're not classist. Chill out.
ReplyDeleteWhat Laurie said.
ReplyDeletepooped on my parade
ReplyDeleteholy fuck r yall still talking about this siht
ReplyDeletefeigned astonishment
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah, we all appreciate the brilliance of FR3P. Now go take a peek at the Barf video and tell me what you think.
ReplyDeleteconfuses vulgarity for humor
ReplyDeleteOkay, now it's getting annoying.
ReplyDeletefuck i forget what i was gunna say.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, That crazy bitch who wants my 7 inch dick, fuck ur gross. an I ain't no faggot. creepy little boy.
that barf vid was fucking funny
see i got me a rot that likes to fuck everything. once i caught him humping the cat. dam cat tried to scratch his poor eyes out.
I had to shoot the cat. can't have that shit round here
@ Shoppista
ReplyDeleteBetween us, I think the difference between a real character and a hateful automaton falls under the "diametrically opposed world views" you were talking about the other week.
But if I'm not mistaken, no one's asked anyone to censor FR3P, or threatened to end their readership over it.
Nice Orwell reference, BTW. I'm a big fan.
@ Billy Joe
ReplyDeleteI'm not one for censorship, but I don't care much for the word "faggot." Would you do me a personal favor and not use it again, please?
stolen persona, doesn't get it
ReplyDeletehey fake r3
ReplyDeletei got a joke
ReplyDelete@Internet John, re: "But if I'm not mistaken, no one's asked anyone to censor FR3P, or threatened to end their readership over it."And I didn't say anyone had, so I'm going to assume this is just a nasty personal remark.
ReplyDeleteGuess FR3P really got under your skin, huh? I had no idea you were so delicate.
you're not that big a deal, get over yourself
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletestolen persona, doesn't get it
ReplyDeletenah nah nah nah nah
ReplyDeletealirght since you didnt ask fr3p heres the joke that was rated the funniest jokein the world bya science poll in 2002 according to the first google result for "funnniest joke in the world":
ReplyDeleteA couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
@ Guys
ReplyDeleteI don't want to beat a dead horse, but I do want to be clear: I don't like FR3P because it offers nothing in terms of positive content. It's cynical, vapid anti-content. I'm not "getting worked up," or being "delicate." I am being serious and sincere. I really don't care that much, but I hate having my words and actions misunderstood and actively misrepresented here.
@ Shoppista
You're deliberately misreading me and it's a real drag. I don't know if I've ever seen you post a comment on R3 that wasn't an I-told-you-so, a lengthy sophistical deconstruction of someone else's comment, or an emotional tantrum. Do you know any good jokes?
holy fuck! and that astonishment is 4 real
ReplyDeletehey yall shld go 3 reviews up to the radio one and post your fav r3 moments we all having fun up there
ReplyDeleteOk, everybody, let's try to be civil and remember this is just a joke review blog.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was pretty obvious that I was FR3P. I'm always making fun of Ron Paul. I didn't know it would get everybody so worked up, my bad.
What I like about the personae of McTavish and (not) Brent Newland is that whenever I see they left a comment, I never know exactly what it will be. Sure, they have a specific personality, but their characters are varied and use their individual personalities as a starting point for humorous comments. Everything's in character, but the comments could go in any direction.
What I hate about McTavish's (whoever he or she may be in reality) splintered personae is that the "joke" ends at the character. When I see Bertha left a comment, I know it's going to be some long paragraph about food. When I see Nixie and Whateverthefuck left a comment, I know it's going to be some weird awkward sex comment. That sort of one note post might be funny the first time, but seven hundred times later it isn't.
Anyway, what I'm saying is I miss McTavish and also I pretty much hate reading the comment section now. Sorry to get everybody riled up but at least we got a lot of comments on a review again am I right?
fuck that was stressful...
ReplyDeleteYou know, for once it was nice to not be the bitch who was acting crazy.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteWe resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign. I make enough as Laurie's personal assistant that I don't have to work here.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign.
ReplyDeleteI resign, and I take back that nice thing that I said about you Glenn.
ReplyDeleteIf my friends are goin', I'm goin' too. Motherfuckers!
ReplyDeleteManagement's worst nightmare--all the good staff have left.
ReplyDeletei resign
ReplyDeletewait, resign mean i can keep potsing right
ReplyDeleteet tu la ducha :_(
ReplyDelete(cld someone link me to a la ducha post never seen one before and i think she might not exist (like dinosars))
Can we just have regular old McTavish back? I liked McTavish.
ReplyDeleteSince most of McTavish's characters were female (I include Keybun in that count) I assume that McT is a she.
ReplyDeleteNo way. McTavish is def a dude.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right. No she would post a link to barf.
ReplyDeleteI got nuttin
ReplyDeletejust want this
ReplyDeleteto reach 90
ReplyDeletethat was p tits but nota s tits as if it reached 100
ReplyDeleteIn conclusion, iTunes Genius is really cool.
ReplyDeleteYes it is, Tim.
ReplyDeleteHas there ever been an R3 post that got 100 comments?
ReplyDeleteShoppista,
ReplyDeleteYes. Art made it to 132 comments, and although John Updike made it to a mere 51, I think we all agree it was perhaps the sweetest post of all time.
yea i forgot to mention jon updick on my now! thats what i call r2 vol. 2 but that wld have to be on their 2
ReplyDelete@ Viking Andrew
ReplyDeleteLooking back, it appears there was a bloom of creativity in the R3 community shortly after your brilliant and gutsy John Updike review. Cause and effect? Oh yeah--my research proves it. Undoubtedly, that's what inspired McTavish to forge Bertha (my favorite), Nixie & Wolfgang (my gf's fav), Lars (my sister's fav), Keybun (my kid brother's fav--should my mom be concerned about that?), Theodore (my mom's fav), Sister Mary Francis (my dad's fav), and the others. Most Updike enthusiasts will see a bit of Updike in each one of them. They were ordinary, yet fascinating. We all eat. We all have sex (or at least want to—sorry that you’re not getting any Laurie). We all spend time on the toilet.
Such are the everyday activities that McT sought to examine and illuminate using the simplest literary form: blog commentary. Sure there were groaners (as I John put it), but who hasn’t groaned while eating, screwing and shiting? Were themes repeated? Of course! How else could he (the consensus seems to be that McT is a dude) explore social aspects of repetitive biological processes (again, Laurie, sorry that you aren’t getting repeats). But they weren’t repeated “seven-hundred times” as someone suggested.
Like your ground-breaking take on Updike (I’ve had it printed and framed), McT undertook a bold experiment in blog commentary. He put his heart into it. Must have spent days, perhaps weeks, scanning Flickr to get the right picture to illustrate a persona. And my God he did a superb job. Could Bertha be anyone else? Nixie & Wolfgang? No. He nailed it.
My friend, you led R3 into its Golden Age. McT thrived during that time. Like all Golden Ages it ended when powerful reactionary forces stomped out the light. I fear that McT, who is most certainly a sensitive soul, has been destroyed. Shoppista and Glenn are probably happy about this. I am not. I am saddened. I hope that McT finds happiness and acceptance in another blog.
Awwww...that's so sad. But we are one comment closer to 100. So get off your asses and comment.
ReplyDeleteIf only R3 Historian had broken that treatise up into two comments, we might have actually made it to 100. Well, we'll never know now, will we?
ReplyDelete@Glenn,
ReplyDeleteLol!
@R3 Historian: McTavish, that better not be you telling us that you are leaving our blog. And stop making fun of my pathetic sex life.
ReplyDelete@R3 Historian:
ReplyDeleteWhile I generally agree with your findings (i.e., that I am a genius), I think He Who Must Only Be Alluded To And Never Mentioned By Name might have something to say about whose innovations led to the fake persona explosion (and subsequent purge).
Speaking of Internet John, where is he? I know he's in Canada. Have they socialized the internet, too?
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. Now I'm picturing John standing in line, waiting for his turn on the only '96 Dell computer in his town. Ha ha ha. Canada...
Vote Libertarian, friends.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to vote out R3's management.
ReplyDelete@Anon,
ReplyDeleteDid you learn nothing from yesterday's Great Purge? There is no management, nothing to vote on. There is only work, only toil.
How did we mismanage anything here?
ReplyDeleteR3 is going to be so boring without the Berthas etc.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that management, and I thought only Glenn was management and every one else was a peon, engineered the Great Purge just to keep shoppista happy. I sure hope shoppista contributes something to fill the void.
and we are so close to 110, and that's all I could think of saying
ReplyDeleteIt's all about the count you know.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I can rest for a while.
ReplyDeleteR3's founders, readers, et al (myself included) can be and have been a moody bunch at times. This too shall pass. My own (valueless) opinion is that while many of the alternate personalities around here provide us with the occasional-to-frequent giggle, we will probably be all right without SO MANY of them.
ReplyDeleteI, for one, love coming here to see what's being discussed and maybe throw my two cents in on occasion. To me, it's a great joy to discuss things (whether it's in a humorous way or not) with my family, friends, and other real people. I look at the fake personalities as harmless and amusing little diversions, except for when they cross the line I mentioned somewhere else in this ludicrously long thread.
Sincerely, though, R3 is one of my favorite places to visit on the series of tubes they call the interwebs.
Well said T!!!
ReplyDeleteAwww...well we like you too, readers!
ReplyDelete@Anon: I promise, Glenn didn't express his dislike of some of the sock puppet commenters on my account. 1) We don't dislike the same ones, or not to the same extent, and 2) I don't have, or want, that kind of input into Glenn's opinion.
ReplyDeleteOff to go yank lollipops from the hands of toddlers, BBL.
I don't want to be petty, but it would be a nice gesture if no one ever again read or commented on any of Glenn's reviews.
ReplyDeleteAnd totally skip shoppista's comments.
ReplyDeleteIn either case, you won't miss much.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but it had to be said.
ReplyDeleteOff topic: a nice feature of Google's Chrome browser is that you can expand the size of the comment box. So when you have a long comment you can see the full text without scrolling.
ReplyDeleteOne more beer and then I'm going to bed.
ReplyDelete@ shoppista
ReplyDeleteRoses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm pissed off
And it's all because of you.
Now I don't want any of you stealing that poem and selling it.
ReplyDeletePoetry is easy. I don't know why you're not all rich. Well hell, maybe you are. What the fuck do I know?
I don't know what you guys did to McT but do it again tomorrow. We just had the best sex ever.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad those alts are gone. I wish our anonymous posters were a bit more mature, though.
ReplyDeletei dont i thrive off the dramz
ReplyDeleteYou guys know Loco and I are the only ones here who aren't moody.
ReplyDeleteAnd NBNL, too.
sorry just a little moody 2day
ReplyDeleteidont remember vikking andrew ever raising much of a stink
ReplyDeletethat's because Viking A is a genius and he looks down on us like we are ants.
ReplyDeleteinsignificant squabbling ants...I meant to say
ReplyDeleteWho's more genius: iTunes Genius or Viking Andrew Genius.
ReplyDeleteTo me the answere is obvious.
No, I'm pretty sure everyone has "quit" this blog once, except for Loco and I.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, Viking Andrew is a genius.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what it's called, but there is a level above genius, and that's what you are Chris.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the above assesments, and I'd like to nominate(n)BNL for membership in R3's genius club.
ReplyDeleteI second that nomination.
ReplyDeleteim not good w/ standardized tests
ReplyDeleteother then that i dont think theres any1 smarter then me
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of crying, I hope Laurie will stop crying that no one comments on her posts now.
ReplyDeleteLaurie's post are always insightful and beautifully written. She never gets her rightful number of comments because R3 is a boy dominated blog. No matter what the cost, you bastards will do whatever you can to keep her from standing out and being the focus of praise. The glass ceiling is firmly in place here.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I nominate her for R3's super-genius club.
ReplyDeleteAwww, well thank you lady anon.
ReplyDeleteHa, I think you're right, Chris. Quitting, when you have no intention of actually quitting and every intention of coming back into work and doing your job, when "your job" is not something you get paid to do, has certainly been a recurring theme in my life over the past few months. Chris and I (and Viking Andrew, come to think of it) are just easygoing Cancers who would rather make love than make war, and I think we're a lot less stressed for it.
ReplyDeleteIf V3 ever got going I bet it would be all about making love and not war.
ReplyDeleteMmmm... love...
ReplyDelete