Well that's no good. A shoe is pretty much useless unless you happen to have another shoe, and then you can put them next to each other and they'll kiss and make baby shoes, or you can wear them to the store/bar/mosque/rollercoaster show. If you happen to have a shoe only, then maybe you can smash a bug or hit somebody or put it next to a mirror and make believe after all this is America. One bright side is that at least if somebody wants you to help them get their puppy off of the rocky ledge you can say "No dice, my foot will be all bloody, I mean the one without a shoe and also I'm eating."RATING: 25% depending on make, model, fragrance
Bravissimo. Good form on this one.
ReplyDeleteCinderella only had one shoe, and she did pretty well for herself.
ReplyDeleteGood use of the agribusiness tag!
ReplyDeleteAnd Glenn once again shows us why his reviews are so much more enjoyable to read!
ReplyDeleteMore enjoyable than what? Tolstoy--yes. Fast food delivery menu--no.
ReplyDeleteThey're more enjoyable to read than to eat. You'd get broken glass in your mouth from the monitor.
ReplyDeleteA shoe is better than no shoe.
ReplyDeleteAt least that's what my grandmother's neighbor always used say. God rest his soul.
I know when someone explains this I'm going to look/feel like an idiot, but can someone please explain to me why it says "heart of gold"? Is it just because that song is about looking for your mate?
ReplyDeletePost-modernism, Laurie. Jesus.
ReplyDeleteIf you have to ask, you've already missed the point. As a New Yorker, you ought to understand that.
ReplyDeleteDamn po-mo. It gets me every time.
ReplyDeleteGlenn is the King of Non-Sequiturs.
ReplyDeleteAs Andre Breton once said, "The simplest Surrealist act consists of dashing down into the street, pistol in hand, and firing blindly, as fast as you can pull the trigger, into the crowd."
ReplyDeleteGlenn is afraid of guns, so he uses MSPaint.
Well said.
ReplyDeleteGlenn has the squitters?
ReplyDelete